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133. Do you think a relationship changes people’s behavior or who they’re at their core? (06/27/2023)
Yes, being in a relationship does change people.
The degree of change varies from person to person. Before a relationship, we are individuals with our own wants and needs. We live on our own without letting others change our lifestyle too much. However, in a relationship, especially long ones, conflicts arise as our lives become more intertwined with our partners whether its by spending more time together through dates, moving in together, or getting married and have kids. It's not just my house anymore, its me and my partners home. Most decisions have to be mutually agreed on whether its what we are having for Friday night, which country to have vacation on, which color the wall should be, or what should we name our kid. Instead of playing video games on the weekend with my friends, I might play on weeknights to use the weekend for traveling with my partner. Relationships change our habits on both sides as we accommodate our partners.
As for the core, maybe not so much. People should not go into a relationship expecting the other person to change their personality for you. If you do, you will just be disappointed as most people don't change. However, there will be some exceptions. The asshole might become nicer towards others to avoid upsetting his wife or the quiet boyfriend might become more assertive to protect his partner. As for the ones that are dissatisfied and don't change, their relationships don't last long.
Time and circumstances play a big role in change as well. People in longer-term relationships or that have more invested in their relationships are more likely to change. They risk losing way more whether its all the years and money they spent on the relationship, their investments and properties, or their kids. The change might be temporary as if the relationship ended, we would go back to our old ways. For example, my older cousin used to smoke a lot since high school. He gave up smoking for his long-term girlfriend but started again after they broke up.
