Timeline
BG’s timeline:
Born in Hong Kong, China in 2000 to two nepali parents
In 2004, moved to live in Nepal with his aunt and his 4 cousins (3 older sister and one older brother)
In 2008, moved to Hong Kong and lived with his parents.
In 2013, immigrated to LA with his family to live with his' uncle’s family
In 2018, started SMC
In 2021 enlisted as a 42A human resources specialist
In 2022 deployed to Kuwait/Qatar
Important events that shaped who I am today.
Grew up without parents around for the most part (More independent).
While living in Nepal, it was mainly my aunt and my sisters looking after me while my parents were working in Hong Kong. I was mainly free to do whatever. In Hong Kong after school, it would just be me at home every M-F nights because my parents were working late afternoon nights. It was lonely being the only one in that room almost every night. After I was done with homework, sometimes I would just stare outside the window and at the park and look at other kids play. I would boot on the PC and start playing flash games on miniclip.com or y8.com.
-In 2013, after we immigrated to the US, my parents were at the apartment every night after work. My uncle’s family and my family living together in a small apartment with two bedrooms and a living room. My mom, dad, and Biggyn would sleep in the living room couch. My uncle, aunt, and Ela didi would sleep in the other room while me and Joel dai slept in the first bedroom. That lasted for almost two years before both our families saved and mortgaged a small house together.
-As my parents were around more often, they wanted to have a closer family but I didn’t want that. I felt like I was suffocating with my parents. I always had to put on a filter whenever around them because they would lecture on me how I should be a better son and embrace Nepali traditions. I love being independent too much to live with.
Got bullied and ostracized in 7th grade (social anxiety and trust issues).
I grew up like your average kid. I liked having fun, somewhat active, and had some friends in school. In 7th grade, I started studying in a new secondary school different from all my friends. Hong Kong is 95% Chinese with others being different minority groups from South and southeast Asia. Initially, I made friends with 5 other classmates who were south-Asian like me (one Nepali, two Indians, and two Pakistanis). We would hang out and crack jokes in between classes. However, I was not the best student as I was lazy so I was struggling in almost all classes. I was also the class clown because I would be doing stupid shit like daydreaming while the teacher is presenting, opening a bottle of fizzy energy drink mid-class, or not knowing what the hell is going on when the teacher asks me a question. In the second month, my friend group invited me out into the hallway while everyone was in class eating. I feel a sharp punch into my gut. I tried to fight back but when all 5 guys are around you grabbing each of your arms and punching you, 3 years of taekwondo and a black belt don’t mean shit. Even after I dropped to the floor, they kicked me a few times before returning to the classroom. I was bruised all over, my uniform was dirty, and inside I was deeply hurt by the betrayal. I was too embarrassed to admit to anyone that I was bullied by them.
- I was failing in academics, all my friends had betrayed me, and my parents hated me for being a failure. I just shut down for the most part. At home, it was just lectures and punishments whether it was being slapped, hit by a sandal, or kicked out of the apartment for a night. I was depressed and lonely, so to escape that feeling, I started pulling all-nighters where I read mangas (Japanese comic books). When the lights turned off and I was supposed to be sleeping, I was reading chapters of Naruto, Bleach, Fairy Tail, and One Piece on my Samsung Galaxy S until the sun came up and it was time for school. At school, my class clown habits got worse. I slacked on doing homework and studying. I went to detention at least once a week. Almost all my teachers hated me, all my classmates thought I was a retard, and my parents thought I was a no-good of a son failure.
- My edginess also started from here. During social gatherings, I would refuse to smile and just look neutral all the time regardless of whether we were taking photos, talking with someone, or playing a game. I became super quiet and only spoke when I was asked a question directly aimed at me.
-This was my first rock-bottom moment in my life. I was failing at everything and I was alone. I lost all self-confidence and accepted I was a failure and would remain as one. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore and decided that everyone didn’t want to be around me so I kept quiet in the corner.
A lesson in human decency from Ela Didi (Empathy and not being an asshole).
After 7th grade was over, my family immigrated to the US to live with my uncle’s family. I was depressed, lonely, and edgy even after moving to the country where anything is possible. There was one person who changed my entire life, Ela Didi, (technically she is my cousin but I call her my older sister because we are super close). I can never call her Ela by itself due to the amount of respect I have for her.
-We did not get off to a good start. I was this edgy teenager that didn’t want to talk with anybody because he hated the world for hating him. That pissed her off so we often got into arguments. Over time, I started opening up to her about me being depressed, angry, and lonely. Unlike my parents, she didn’t lecture me at all, she just listened. She understood what I was going through and she stopped being angry at me. I also started being more open and happy overall instead of my edgy usual-self. She would often take me to hiking because that was her hobby and she used that as an excuse to eat In N Out and other foods since she was a foody. She became my role model at that point. I wanted to be a good listener who could understand others the way she did.
-She also taught me to be a non-judgemental piece of shit. My parents are very judgemental. They don’t like most minority groups, LGBTQ, and people who do “bad things” like smoke, vape, weed, alcohol, or drugs. They used to tell me that they were bad people and for a while I believed that. I used to tell my cousin, Joel Dai, that he was a bad person because he smoked. That pissed him off. As I started listening more and being around Ela Didi, I learned that
a) some people don’t have control over certain things such as race, gender, sexuality
b) everyone has a reason for doing something no matter how good or how bad (socializing, stress relief, or it stops the pain)
c) everyone is doing the most rational/most good thing in their viewpoint because they grew up differently with different experiences and different life values
As a result, I became less judgemental and more open to different ideas and things. I adopted the mentality of “sure why not?”. I am very thankful for having met Ela Didi because it wasn’t for her, I don’t know what kind of asshole I would be. I am still an asshole but I could have turned out way worse, maybe the kind that within a minute of me speaking to someone new, they already want to beat the shit out of me.
First suicide attempt in Covid-19 (Less fucks given attitude)
It was in Covid-19 with the stay-at-home orders.
sad
