NYC, Friendships VS Love, Purpose, and Weekly Check-In

Trip to NYC (March 22 - March 26, 2024)
-some quick comparisons:
compared to west coast, east coast weather is colder and more brutal. It rains way more and the cold wind hurts your face. Everything is extremely expensive (food, rent, etc) and it's dangerous especially at night.
-people in east coast are more straightforward and less passive.

There is a lot of culture and history with the buildings there.

I hated NYC because it's overpriced and chaotic. I loved Boston because it's safe and clean. Baltimore is ok (it's not overpriced but it's still dangerous).
NYC has a lot of energy and it's perfect for young adults who want to explore and try out new things. However, I always act like an old person and just want some peace and quiet with my life. Whenever I asked my friends what they would do if they retired, many of them said they would buy a farm, grow some crops, and drink beer on the porch watching the sunset.
I understand the appeal of being at peace with nobody to disturb you. However, I still want to be involved with my community whether it's through volunteering or teaching as a professor. Boston, Irvine, or Edogawa City seems perfect for that. Quiet peaceful neighborhoods for me to take walks in.
My favorite parts of my NYC trip was the interaction with a delivery driver. Me and my friends were trying to find the stairs to go up the Brooklyn Bridge. We asked the nearby food delivery driver for directions. He didn't speak any English but luckily through the power of google translate, online pictures, and hand gestures, we were able to find the entrance. That's my favorite part about traveling: getting lost and interacting with the locals. It reminds me of my trip to Japan where I often got lost even with google maps. We were looking for an udon restaurant and we walk to the place. We don't see anything until we see stairs to go under. Underground there was a huge wide mall that seemed to go on almost forever. It was almost a quarter size of UC Berkeley's campus. Since it was underground, we had to look everywhere comparing the outside shop signs. Eventually we found it and had the best udon of our lives.
My second favorite part was the interaction with a Trader Joe's cashier. When I first got to the register, the person wasn't ready as she was still finishing her granola bar. While checking out the items, I saw an X and a O on her hand. I asked her about it. She said somebody drew it on her hand when her brother died 10 years ago. It's supposed to represent a kiss and a hug. Ever since, she redraws it everyday like a morning ritual. Just getting to hear a deep story like that made my trip worth it.
I love the people in east coast. They can be some of the most open and fun people. They can also be some of the most aggressive as people sometimes shout in the subway and argue in the street over a shoulder bump.
I wouldn't mind living in the east coast for a year or two but I would not settle down there permanently.

Friendships VS Love:
My friends seem confused about why I would value them way more than my actual girlfriend. My reasoning is that they are close friends to the point of being like my brothers. They have been with me for a long time especially when I had little to no confidence in myself. They were always pushing me to do the right thing even when I was too lazy to do it. They were there to support me when I was at rock bottom. You guys made me who I am today. I would not be here if it weren't for you guys.
My current girlfriend, not so much. We are not that deep yet.
I know what true friendship is like, but I don't know what love is like.
True friendship is knowing you can be fully honest and open to your friends. It takes a lot of trust knowing you won't be judged or criticized when you are talking about things you are vulnerable and sensitive about. For that reason, I owe my loyalty to my close friends. I am not as loyal to my girlfriend.

Purpose:
My purpose in life is to die with no regrets. I don't want to be in my deathbed feeling like a failure academically, socially, or career-wise. That's why I need to graduate from Harvard or Stanford. For work, I have to work for a bit at either Google, Meta (formerly Facebook), or Amazon. For socially, I want to fuck a girl of every type (race, personality, hobby, etc). I also have to be more interesting, improve my looks, refine my personality by traveling more and expanding my interests and hobbies, being more confident and bold, etc.
After finishing them, I can focus on doing the things I care about. I like learning new things and self-improving. I want to read new books to expand my mind and understanding of this world. I also want to teach others about my experience and knowledge. For work, I want to have a nice work-life balance and eventually become a communications professor at a community college. For socially, I just want to chill with my close friends and family in peace.
After finishing my main 3 goals, I want to focus on mentoring my brother till he finishes college. I will also help my close friends settle down in life in the meantime. After I reach 30, I may or may not get married. I might marry if my brother comes out as gay or doesn't want to have kids so I will take on the burden of giving my parents their grandkids. I might get arranged marriage too.
What a life I have ahead of me. Even now, thinking about my upcoming death is scary. I am glad I got to explore a lot and meet a lot of people. I often think "what if a missile hit and I just died immediately"? I often tell myself, I had fun and got to make some great friends and memories along the way. While I am disappointed I can't do anymore, I am still happy with the outcome.
I will probably go back to my original dream after finishing my main 3 ambitions which is to live in an apartment, play video games, and eat panda express, costco pizza, and kbbq for the rest of my life.


Weekly check up (05/02/2024)
-after going to so many review, tutoring drop-in, and power hour sessions, I have never felt as productive before.
-I highly underestimated what it's like working with classmates/colleagues (not friends) because they can be too fun to get work done sometimes
-this feels weird being ahead. RRR/finals week is also my favorite week because I feel like I am learning so much and understanding many topics completely
-It is harder to replicate this solo because you can just procrastinate or not do it at all
(having more fixed commitments takes the procrastination out of you)
- I should replicate this when I go back to visit my family in LA. My little brother is 12 years old now. He loves copying me so in order to get him to study, I have to study as well. I will try this triple pomodoro technique with him.
- I think this is what was missing from pomodoro which is identifying short-term goals you want to achieve compared to just I am going to read this book. For my journaling: I wanted to finish writing my weekly check up, my trip to NYC, and my thoughts on friendships, purpose. Also being more self-aware through reflections helps out a lot.