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8 Write a letter to someone who’s had a big impact on your life. (03/06/2023)

Hi Ela Didi.

It's been a long time since we last spoke, maybe 6 months at least. I did want to call you to see how are things back home and how you are doing but I was scared of annoying you. I don't know how you are doing with work and life. Maybe you could be traveling or hanging out with your friends. It felt rude of me to call you out of nowhere.
This is a letter I might never send with things I might never say because I am a coward who lets other people's opinions get in the way of me expressing myself.

If this was my last time speaking with you, I would want to say, I am grateful that you
were present in my life. I want to apologize for being a judge-mental brat during my edgy teenage years. Almost everyday, I got on your nerves by either saying something so stupid it made you question reality or with something so outrageous that you just wanted to slap me right in the face. A part of me wonders why did you take the time and effort to mentor me into being a decent human being. You could have left me as the piece of shit I was.

Maybe its because you are a kind person. You could see the sadness and loneliness hiding behind my angry outbursts.
Maybe you couldn’t bear to see me hurt other people.
Maybe you were edgy and misunderstood like me at one point. Even though you were this wild rebellious teenager during your younger years, you too felt alone at times. You too felt rejected by your own family members when you tried expressing what your were passionate about. Somebody, Sagun didi perhaps, may also have been there for you during this stage to give you guidance who you owe a lot to.

Well, as for me, Biggyn looks up to me a lot and the cycle of rejection and mentorship might continue or it might not. Time will tell. In one hand, if Biggyn turns out all right, he might not need my guidance or help at all. However, if he is struggling especially during the teenage years like all of us had, then I want to be his mentor as well. He will probably get on my nerves and test my patience to the full extent but its part of being a good older sibling. I never had one until you came into my life. For that, I am grateful.

Thank you Ela Didi.

Until next time.