Books

1) Deep Work by Cal Newport

I highly recommend this book to everyone unless you don't need to work for the rest of your life.
Let's start with the definitions:
Deep Work: Undistracted work which requires full concentration (coding an application from scratch). Those who can deep work well can enter FLOW state where they lose themselves in their work and ignore everything else around them.
Shallow Work: Work that can be easily done while multitasking (such as knitting while watching TV)

The current state of economy:
The economy is constantly changing due to evolving technology whether is the internet, electric vehicles, and now artificial intelligence. As a result, three groups of people will come out on top.
1-Workers who can utilize the new technology to produce valuable output (very difficult as learning to utilize new technology takes years to master)
2-Workers who are the best at their jobs (shift from 9-5 job to project work. As a result, top workers will be able to work for multiple companies while mediocre workers lose their jobs)
3-Investors who invest in capital. As technology evolves, it plays a bigger role in our economies. Those who invest in capital will see larger and larger returns as a result.
The economy is always changing so those who can adapt and learn the new technologies will come out on top and stay on top.

Deep Work to become the best:
Expert Journey:
1- Deep Work to Produce Valuable Results
2- Share results with others (coworkers, boss, mentor, etc)
3- Receive constructive feedback
4- Loop back to Step 1
Productivity: Don't measure productivity by how busy you are but by how much value you produce. (hours spent doing homework VS problem sets completed)
Multi-tasking: Don't multi-task. You can't focus properly on either tasks if you multitask. Every time you switch tasks, some of your attention is left behind thus reducing your productivity.
Weekly Reviews: Review yourself weekly to make improvements
Relax: Let your brain relax by napping for a few minutes or meditating before you go back to deep work

Social Media is the enemy:
Social media buys our attention, time, and energy in exchange for useless information. Opportunity Cost: you are always losing something due to them: TIME. in contrast to their benefit: slight entertainment.
Embrace Boredom: You can be bored = you can endure not having fun = you can resist distractions like social media, video games, or music (because they are meant to be "fun")
Time: make every second account. schedule out what you are going to do to reduce procrastination and distractions. schedule out your fun time as well or you are going to end up using social media by default. You can achieve more with less time by focusing on the essential tasks (how the same workers got the same results when they went from 40hr work week to 32hr work week. They became more stingy with their time and stopped wasting it in work that wasn’t vital to their success such as office drama or unnecessary meetings).

ETC:
20/80 rule:
20% of problems cause 80% of my misery (focus on fixing those problems)
20% of habits cause 80% of my success (expand those habits)
Focus and feeling: what you focus on will decide how you feel
-cancer diagnosis (depressing)
-6pm Margarita (joyful)
52 cards: assign a person/character to each card and assign each card to an object in your house (5 rooms, 10-11 objects each for the card order). Try to memorize the cards in order after shuffling
Productive meditation: while you are running, walking, or working out, focus on a problem you have and think about how you can solve it. (thinking about date ideas while I am walking rounds)

2) Why we Sleep by Matthew Walker

One of my all time favorite books (10/10)

Before reading this book, I saw sleep like everyone else, a burden. When we are asleep, we can’t work to earn money for survival. I can’t have fun with my friends. I cannot do anything when I am asleep. We dedicate 5-8 hours everyday of our life to sleep.

After reading, I better understand what sleep is and why we need it. The best way to describe sleep is the body recovering from its waking activities and getting ready for the next one. It’s a break from life.

Almost all living beings sleep in some form including worms, plants, and some cells. We biologically evolved to sleep more. When we deprive ourselves of sleep, it worsens every aspect of our life whether it’s our physical health, mental health, our looks, work, and social life. For health, when the entire us lost one hour of sleep due to daytime saving in spring, there was a spike in heart attacks. When it gained an hour, it dropped instead. Sleep deprived people look more dead and more ugly. Sleep deprived people are lazier, less focused, and more tired. Have you ever read something only to reread multiple times because your mind can’t seem to absorb what you just read. That’s what sleep deprivation does to you.

Sleep is divided into NREM (non rapid eye movement) sleep and REM sleep. You are unconscious during NREM sleep but during REM sleep you are dreaming. During 8 hours of sleep you switch back and forth 4 times each. To simplify, when you are awake you are doing work and absorbing knowledge from your environment. During NREM sleep, your brain is storing that information. During REM sleep you are hallucinating to connect the dots to better understand how the world works. REM sleep: given what I have learned throughout my life, how can I better understand what happened today. REM sleep is very important for social and emotional intelligence development. For first half of sleep, there is more NREM sleep and during second half there is more REM sleep.

Lastly no alcohol or sleeping pills because they are sedatives. They slow down brain activity. Alcohol particularly targets your rationalizing area first before targeting others. That’s why you become more social initially before you start slurring and losing body movement control. When people fall asleep with sedatives and alcohol, they still feel tired because during normal sleep, your brain and body is very active but those substances prevent them from working. Plus, you also lose memory of things you studied which fucks up your work and grades. All those hours of studying go down the drain. Same thing for sleep deprivation.

This is one of the few books worth spending every second of your time reading.

10/10

3) The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

I am not a huge fan of fiction books. Before rereading this book, my favorite book was Why We Sleep because I found it the most useful and most enlightening. Most of the books I read were non-fiction, especially in the self-improvement category. I want to better myself and be a better man than I was yesterday. For that reason, fiction books never appealed to me. They always seemed unrealistic as if the author was out of touch with reality. It is in the name, of "fiction", after all. I held this view for the most part until I reread The Great Gatsby. The first time I read, it was in my junior year of high school. Back then, like everyone else, I hated Daisy for being entitled and I saw Gatsby as a delirious fool who had it all but chose to follow an impossible dream never being satisfied even with Daisy.
After I reread the book now, I understand him now. It became my favorite book because it understood me. I felt similar to Gatsby. I too was brought up from a lower birth compared to everyone else. My family was poor and I barely knew anything about the US. I was the first in my family to go to a university. I always carried a lot of shame with being poor. I always felt inferior compared to others. I too have a grand dream to fix what was wrong in the past. Like Gatsby, I share both his shame and ambition.
Before I saw Gatsby as a delirious fool who had it all, money, status, and Daisy but he wanted more. If only he let go of his foolish dream, would he have had a rich life. However, that was my view when I didn't understand him. Now, I understand why. If it weren't for his foolish dream, he wouldn't have pushed himself this hard to achieve so much in the first place. His impossible dream allowed him to do almost impossible things like rising to a major rank in the army, moving out of his old home, and making a fortune from nothing with zero wealth or zero connections to his name. His dream both brought his grand success and his death.
I am also in a similar situation. If it weren't for my desire to overcompensate and show others how great I can be, I would have never run for student council, I never would have lost weight, I never would have joined the Army, I never would have joined the gym, I never would have start self-improvement in the first place. Only an impossible dream can make men do impossible things.
I don't hate Daisy anymore either. She is entitled and delusional herself. However, it would be a waste of my time and energy to continue feeling angry towards her.
Even during my third rock bottom and with no self-confidence, I still share his optimism that one day my dream will come true. One day, I can feel enough as a man. And so I press on.
A part of me wonders that if I end up succeeding in achieving my dream, is there a nightmare waiting for me? Once I worked at Google, studied at an Ivy League, made at least 100k, and had sex with 38 different women, is there a consequence lying in wait for me? I don't know. Despite being rich, Gatsby still dies alone and empty. I don't want to end up like him.

4) The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson

(February 7th, 2024)

My favorite book of all time. I have read this book at least 3 times by now.

I still remember the first time I read the book while riding a train in Los Angeles. I was still poor at that time so i borrowed it from the Los Angeles Public Library. Initially, the crude humor made me laugh and caught my attention. Then the brutal honesty in its life lessons made me rethink my life choices. The mix of fun and enlightenment makes it my No.1 book. A large part of who I am today, I owe it to this book and the author. This is the closest thing to how to be an adult book in the philosophical sense.

If I had to recommend a book to anyone, this would be it.

The first time I read the book, the main lesson I adopted was to stop caring about everything.

I used to care a lot about justice and the news to the point where I would sign change.org petitions and share on Facebook about bad things happening in the world. It fueled my ego and made me believe that I was making a difference when I wasn’t. I didn’t care about the causes but I did care about others viewing me as a good person. Now, I focus more and more on myself and in the things I give a shit about: my personal and professional development into a mature and confident man, my close friends and family, my health, and enjoying life as much as I can.

The second lesson is death. The only constant in life. Only when we face death, do we stop caring about all the unnecessary bullshit and start caring about what truly matters to us.

I still remember the time I overdosed on a lot of weed through gummies. I was hallucinating and I called my friends in the discord group chat. For a while, I thought I was about to die. The only thing I felt was disappointment because I didn’t get to achieve the things I wanted to do before I die like losing my virginity or getting a girlfriend. After that, I came to terms with my own death. I told myself that I tried my best and this was all I could do so far before passing away. Before knocking out, I was sad but also relieved knowing that I did have some fun moments. The next morning I woke up realizing that I was still alive. I didn’t change overnight. I still have my anxiety and fears especially when it comes to other people but I am getting better at learning to prioritize my values over others.

The third lesson is about failure. “If you are not willing to fail, you are not willing to succeed”.

After accumulating a lot of rejections with only a few successes, my ego and self-esteem took a hit. I went from an outgoing person to someone who didn’t go to class because I had a pimple near my nose. I cried about feeling ugly and unwanted. For a while, I forgot this lesson about failure. I avoided it because the looks of rejection scared me, they hurt me deep inside to the point I started running away from social settings. However, the truth remains, to be successful and confident, I have to be willing to be a failure and a complete joke and weirdo to others. A side lesson is to also be wary of one’s tolerance. I ran it down last semester (fall 2023), going to social setting after social setting getting rejections and more rejections. I forgot to reflect and recharge which led to my third rock bottom. Now that I am almost recovered, I feel ready to go out and try and fail again to succeed.

A continuation of the third lesson. I went online and read a lot of reviews about the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. There were many positive reviews about the hilarious tone and insightful lessons. However, there were also a lot of negative reviews about how it promotes selfishness and immaturity by putting oneself above others. Initially, I thought, what's going on, this is a great book, why would people even hate this? Then, I realized the third lesson again: you can't be a life-changing role model to some people without being a complete joke to others. The book polarized the readers through its honesty and authenticity. I think that is the desired outcome. Many of my favorite movies and books, either you love them or you hate them.

A side lesson regarding self-help books. These books will only work for some people in certain situations. I was feeling very lost and trapped by social norms and this book helped me transform into a more confident and mature man. I think the author himself was in that specific situation at some point as well. However, other people who are not in our situation may not find the book appealing and that's ok.

Also, self-help books don't mean much when we don't put them into practice. Otherwise, we will have read the book all for nothing if we don't make any lasting changes to our lives.

A fourth lesson I want to adopt: I am 100% responsible for everything. While not everything that happens in my life may not be my fault as luck plays a huge factor. However, I still have to try my best and embrace the responsibility to make my life the best I can with the cards I have. I am 100% responsible for my happiness.

Summary lessons: Don't care about everything (care about a few things that are important and meaningful to you), only when we are reminded of death do we realize what's important and what's not, failure is a prerequisite for success, and accepting responsibility is the first step to solving one's problems.

5) Models by Mark Manson

Models Book Review (03/18/2024)

This is my second or third time reading the dating book for men "Models" by Mark Manson. This is definitely in my top 10 books if not top 5 because of how much useful and relevant advice it gives. Unfortunately, I won't put down every single advice in this review, just the fundamental ones.

The most important thing guys should do to get better at dating and relationships is to become less needy. Neediness is easily described as when a person alters their behavior or identity in response to others. For example, telling someone that you like watching football to better your relationship with them is a sign of neediness if you don't actually like watching football. Same goes for our interactions with women. A man who constantly changes his opinions and actions to please others, is not a confident man nor is he a trustful man. There are many ways to reduce neediness. The general guideline is to start valuing oneself over others whether it's your decisions, the way you dress, the way you talk, etc. You should be doing things because you want to not because others expect you to do so. One way to become less needy is to invest more in oneself whether it's by working out, pursuing a career one is actually passionate in, not tolerating hate or insults from others, and expanding one's interests. Another good place to start is to ask oneself, why do I care about others' opinions more than my own?

For me it was the fear of being alone. Being betrayed by my friends, being the failure child, and the class clown left me with a deep trauma of feeling unaccepted and ridiculed. As a result, I tried being normal by copying others rather focusing on myself to discover what I cared about.

The second idea is to be more bold and physical with women. The more straightforward and honest you are with women, the less needy you look and the more confident you will be. Women love being wanted and the bolder the action, the more turned on they will be. A guy who goes straight to a woman after making long eye contact will be seen as more confident and less needy than a guy who looks away and hesitates for 15 minutes before going up to her.

The third idea is to be more vulnerable and emotionally connect with women. Women want two things, connection and security. You can satisfy the security part by being less needy and more honest. As for the connection requirement, they want to feel understood and less lonely. The way to do that is by opening yourself up with your own emotions, motivations, and life stories. For example, if you want to learn about her childhood, don't ask her about it. Talk about yours in a vulnerable way and she will probably talk about hers as well. The deeper the topic, the more connected you might be. For example, talking about the time you felt alone and unwanted when you got picked last will generate a stronger emotional response than talking about your ice cream flavor.

There is a caveat to all of these. Do all these things for yourself to be a better man and to improve yourself. Don't do it expecting women to fall in love with you. Women will always know whether you say something because you are genuinelly trying to express yourself versus when you are expecting a response from them.

A must read book. Highly recommend.

6) Fire Punch review

04/17/2024

I read the entire Firepunch manga series 2 days ago after getting both of my 4 wisdom teeth removed. I had no internet and the series was fully downloaded on my tablet so I read the entire series.

To summarize it, this is something I copied from a YouTube comment:
"Firepunch is a great manga I will never read again"

Firepunch's story is cruel and brutal. There were moments in the story where I had to stop reading it in public because of how fucked up some of the scenes were. That's also the reason why it might be good for me and others to just read it once.

The main theme of the story is about living and finding purpose. I agree with the idea that to live is to suffer. All humans suffer every day as we have unlimited wants but limited resources to satisfy them. I suffer because I want more out of life. Immigrating to America wasn't enough as I had to also become successful by getting a six-figure job to satisfy my goals. So we put in our hours every day whether it's working, studying, or putting in time for our hobbies, dreams, or social circles. Fire Punch takes that idea to an extreme as the main character, Agni, is burning everywhere. He is enduring the pain of his flesh being burnt every second he is alive. Yet, he chooses to live to get revenge as he made that his sole purpose.

In the second arc, his suffering is more emotional and mental. While the fires are gone, he suffers from the guilt of his past victims and from living a lie every day. Despite all that pain, he still chooses to live for the sake of his "sister".

Throughout the story, conflicts often exist between wanting to die and wanting to live. The fire hurt him so much that he wanted to die, but he couldn't just stop until he finished things with Doma.

That resonated with me. My cousin told me that even though she hated life sometimes and contemplated suicide, she avoided it because she didn't want to hurt her grandmother. I felt similarly too because I didn't want my little brother and close friends to end up suicidal and depressed because of my death.

There was also another motive. For most of my life, I have always been an underdog. I always felt treated like a clown or somebody who would never achieve greatness. For that reason, I would always die with regrets if I never got to prove myself as being capable. When I was 21 and I made my first suicide attempt, there was a thought in my head telling me that I achieved nothing in life so far. For that reason, I chose to join the military as a last-ditch effort to not be a total loser in death.

Even though my life is a lot better, I still see life as suffering that needs a purpose to justify it. The only thing going for me is the desire to prove others wrong by being successful. There is this fear in me that if I do end up achieving my dream, then what would I be without my hatred or purpose? Will I just go back to being suicidal and my past self?

7) Beelzebub manga review

05/14/2024

I first read Beelzebub when I was 14 years old after my older cousin introduced it. There were a lot of chapters where I laughed my ass off due to the sheer absurdity and comedy of the mange. It doesn't take it itself too seriously and I love it for that.

Even reading it again after almost 10 years, I still had a fun time reading it. My favorite part was the character interactions and the funny scenes. It could be a drinking competition so some of the characters win by beating the shit out of their opponent so they can’t drink more than them. The only issue is that for the entire manga, their interactions never develop into anything more than friendship which is a bit disappointing. All the characters remain the same personality-wise.

I will reread the entire series sometime in the late future after I forget most of the plotline to relive those funny moments.