Favorites
I am mainly using this page to proofread my personality. By personality, I mean the responses I give to other people when talking about myself.
0) Favorite Song
“We’ve never met but can we have coffee or something” - by In Love with a Ghost
This song has no lyrics and most people would be weirded out by it. I mainly listen to it while I am journaling or taking a walk at night doing some self-reflection on my past. I have bad habit of avoiding things when they get too uncomfortable or too scary. These past few days, I have been diving deep with myself to figure out my past traumas to fix my social anxiety. It’s not easy. I find myself often blocking thoughts out completely and closing my eyes to get away from that scary feeling of facing the uncomfortable truth. This song helps me calm down and stabilize a lot faster so that I can continue tackling my inner fears.
1) Favorite video game
“Yakuza Like a Dragon”
Yakuza Like a Dragon is my No.1 game. Initially, Yakuza 0 held that spot but after playing Yakuza 7, it deserves that spot instead.
Yakuza Like a Dragon is one of the most fun games I have played in my life. It's main story is a little dull like the main story of other Yakuza games including Yakuza 0. However, it's main protagonist, Ichiban, has more depth and personality compared to previous protagonists. The interactions in the gang ranging from the main storyline, bar talk, to sidewalk conversations help showcase each character's personality and how they interact with another. These aren't just party members to help you beat the game, they have their own stories you can explore as well.
Playing a RPG is not as fun as playing a brawler beat-em up type of game like previous yakuzas where you could unlock new skills to demolish your enemies in jaw-dropping fight sequences. In previous yakuza games, you could go through the whole game by spamming the same move combo but in yakuza 7, you have more room for experimentation. There are different classes with its own move sets, different items with different effects, and special summons. Each enemy has different strengths and weaknesses which require you to use different moves to capitalize on them.
The sidequests are a whole different level. They could range from saving a crabfish from being eaten, helping a naked soap guy get clothes, fighting a monkey-driven excavator, or taking SAT exams on music, science, and history to boost your personality. The sidequests reward you with different allies to summon or as employees to recruit.
The minigames are more fun ranging from mario kart, homeless can collector pac man, rhythm sleep cinema game, and my favorite business tycoon simulator where you manage businesses, employees, and investments plus shareholder meetings as you try to become the No.1 business in Ichinjo.
If I could take one game to a deserted island, this would be it.
(Formerly) My favorite video game is Yakuza 0. Whenever I say that, people will be like what’s that?
Yakuza 0 is essentially a Japanese GTA fighting game with no driving or shooting.
That’s not why it is my favorite. The game does not take it itself too seriously where you beat up people with a salt shaker and get three strikes in a row to win a chicken to be your real estate manager.
For some backstory, I was playing a lot of video games back then, and I was playing video game after video game to add one more name to my completion list just to say I played that game before. Playing video games started to feel more like a chore than an activity. I was also playing a lot of League of Legends because there was nothing more satisfying than completely destroying your enemies. However, it was only fun when I won.
The first time I played Yakuza 0, I got reminded of why I originally played video games, for fun. Video games became something to complete, something to win, and I forgot that we play video games for fun.
Yakuza 0 is a weird game so most people will be turned off by it, but the few people that like it, they love it with a passion.
It goes over the top with its combat cinematics whether its you beating a yakuza in the nuts with a frozen sardine nunchucks or you crushing a whole motorcycle on top of a goon. Its mini-stories are full of dumb plotlines that make you wonder how do the authors come up with this shit. The minigames ranging from disco dancing, karaoke, real estate royale, managing a hostess club, shooting dating game, and so much more just make it a fun overall experience.
That’s why it holds a special place in my heart.
“If it’s not fun, why bother” - Reggie
2) Favorite movie
“The night is short, walk on girl”
This movie doesn’t have the best animation, best voice acting, nor the best plot (most people who watched this movie with me found the plot confusing and even messy at times). It wasn’t even popular. I found it by coincidence as I was scrolling through random Youtube videos to watch.
When watching this movie, I felt like the movie was made specifically for me. The film seems to understand me the same way a close friend would. The plot follows the journey of the girl and the guy as they explore the night scene separately meeting different strangers along the way. I felt like both the guy and girl represented me. The girl represented my optimism, carefree attitude towards trying out new things, and being friends with strangers overnight. The guy represented my bad habits of social anxiety, overthinking everything, and wanting to not be lonely but being too scared to ask somebody out.
The movie is a metaphorical lesson for life. The night scene represents adulthood, the different types of alcohol are symbols of the different life experiences we have, and the strangers are the different people we meet throughout our lives. I agree with the movie when it implies that life is short. I don’t want this one life I have to go to waste. I want to make the best of what I am given and live to the fullest regardless of what others think. That’s why this movie is my favorite.
3) Favorite Book
Models
Originally, my favorite book used to be “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” which essentially taught me that you cannot give a fuck about everything. So you have to be wise about what to care about whether its you family, friends, your career, etc. What you care about also defines what you don’t care about. I for example value deep-conversations where we get to open up and express ourselves freely. However, that also means, I have low tolerance for small talk. I cannot stand small talking for a long period of time before I either shut up, walk away, or try to guide it into a deeper conversation.
Models became my new favorite book because I got way more out of it than any other book. I still reread that book from time to time. If I had a bible this would be it. Initially, I thought it was a dating-advice book for guys with little to no dating experience like myself but it ended up becoming more of a life-advice book.
It taught me a very important thing about rejection. I can only have so much control about whether I get rejected or not because at the end of the day, I am not the one deciding whether I get rejected or not, they are. My only job is to ask, express my intentions clearly, and find out the truth whether its a yes or no.
As a straight male, with no strong father figure, I had no idea how to be a guy because I was mainly raised by my older sisters. So this book helped fill in a lot of the gaps on what it means to be a confident man in the modern world.
Another thing it taught me was not to be afraid to be yourself or to be controversial. When you are honest and express yourself freely, people will reject you and others will accept you. The goal isn’t to avoid rejection but to accept it as a byproduct of trying to find acceptance from others for being yourself. There will always be people who disagree with you and that’s ok. It’s better to express yourself and be rejected than to not say anything and be accepted for something you are not.
4) Favorite Weather
My favorite weather to my least favorite weather is rainy, cloudy, windy, snowy, and sunny. I'll start with the cons first because growing up, I always ate my vegetables first. I didn’t like the bitter taste so I would eat them first and I saved the best for the last which is the protein. A major con for rain is that my shoes get wet. I like running and weightlifting so I wear “dry-fit” shoes. They are shoes with lots of tiny holes that allow my feet to stay cool even when I am doing intensive cardio. However, that allows water to enter my shoes easily which makes my socks and my feet wet. When I was in the UK, I spent hours on a road trip with wet shoes which made my feet extremely wrinkled. Loveliest British weather. Another pro is that it hides the sun. I love sunrises and sunsets. Sunny days also hide the ugliness of cities, especially L.A.. However, the sun causes sunburn which gives me moles. It also makes me hot and sweaty. I grew up some years in Hong Kong which is a tropical city near the Equator. I am wearing a white t-shirt, grey cargo pants, and blue running shoes. I step outside my apartment and within a few minutes, sweat is pouring down my forehead. I also get rashes from excessive heat which is why I hate sunny days.
Back to the rain. The rain is my favorite because it’s therapeutic. It's like Nature's Way of telling us to take a break. It's meditation essentially. When it rains, we stop what we are doing, sit back, watch the rain, and be present for a few minutes before going back to our tasks. Life is very stressful and rainy days are those few moments where it feels genuinely relaxing. I'm also biased towards rain because I love water both drinking it and also observing it. As a kid, I spent most nights alone in my apartment room because my parents often worked overtime. To pass the time and not feel lonely and bored every night, I would play video games or watch movies. However, my favorite moments were rainy days. I would just stop what I was doing, turn off all the lights, sit down, and watch the rain pour outside my window and onto the pavement outside. For that brief moment, time froze. I didn’t have to worry about exams or homework. I could just relax and enjoy the rain.
This is off-topic. I love sea waves. I just love watching the water flow back and forth. The smoothness and flow of the waves it is just so relaxing. For some background, I live near Clark Kerr which is home to the frat houses. I did join a frat but I quit because I don't drink alcohol anymore nor caffeine or coffee. I am a healthier person now. I am consistently getting at least 7.5 hours of sleep. However, on some nights, especially weekend nights, it is very noisy with frat houses blasting music till 4 fucking a.m. It's hard to sleep when you hear people constantly screaming outside your home. This semester I bought noise-canceling headphones. I always play 480 minutes of waves just splashing back and forth through my Headspace app. It works great. It cancels the sound both from outside and from inside. Everybody does this including myself. Whenever I'm trying to sleep, I'm always thinking about what could I have done better today or how to prepare for upcoming exams and projects. That kept me awake for hours before. The wave soundtrack helps me cancel my anxious thoughts by intervening every few seconds. I could be thinking about the R coding project due in two weeks, I am thinking about how to code out the graphs, and suddenly a large wave splash stops my thought completely. In that brief moment, I can allow myself to switch to something else that's more relaxing. I can start getting ready to sleep rather than stressing out about something I cannot do right now. I love the rain both for it’s beauty and for it’s therapy.
