19

19 Write down a positive affirmation and repeat it to yourself.

Another positive affirmation prompt.
It feels like a depressed person telling themselves to be happy over and over again. Or someone telling themselves in the mirror they are beautiful over and over again because deep down they feel ugly.
I often tell myself I am not scared or I will be fine before I give a presentation because I am terrified of making a fool out of myself. I am paralyzed by fear and end up telling myself I am not scared before my waiting time runs out and I have to actually face the crowd.

"open your eyes"

While writing for this prompt, I started thinking about past social experiences and future social situations. Embarrassing moments started popping up in my head and the thought of me going up to random strangers showing my interest drove fear into me.
I lay on my bed face down, lay both hands on my head, and close my eyes as I start taking deep breaths. I feel safe and secure. As I look back to the time when I failed as a boyfriend because I was too scared to kiss her, I shake my head left and right in embarrassment. I think about the tea party I am attending tonight with my friends. I start thinking to myself, what would I do if I saw a cute girl, would I approach her, what would I say to her? "what if she thinks I am a creep or I am too ugly". Both of my hands push my head harder into my pillow as feelings of public shame start overwhelming me. I am too scared to open my eyes and get out of my bed. I just want to feel safe. At the same time, I hate being lonely and being misunderstood. So I tell myself "open your eyes" over and over again until I open my eyes and get my face off my bed.